Driving You Insane
by phoenixmaiden13
Summary: The war is lost. The Dark Lord Voldemort has won. Harry Potter is dead, but he's not going anywhere.
1. Chapter 1

**********Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**  


**Yay! New story and before you ask, no it is not slash. Just a regular story full of humor. At least I think so. I made myself laugh while writing it. Ha ha, ugh. I'm so lame. Anyways, this story has been laying around my room in a note book, so I thought I would just get this out there. I have no idea how long it will be, probably not long. Well, enjoy!**

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**Driving You Insane**

**Chapter 1**

Lord Voldemort sat in his high back chair behind an elaborate desk. Upon his visage was a look of contentment. At last he had finally rid himself of the thorn in his side. Harry Potter was no more. He laughed darkly and an evil smile grew on his face. Now he was free to work on other things, like taking over the Ministry. But there was one tiny problem…

**-Yawn-**

Voldemort snapped his head up and looked around. _There's that blasted voice again! _"Who's there? Reveal yourself!"

There was silence. As there always was, it was just a fleeting voice, there one minute gone the next. He had no idea where or who it was coming from. He refused to believe that he was hearing things. There was someone there, he knew it. And once he found out who was pulling this trick, they were dead. Lord Voldemort was not crazy!

**-Sure you're not-**

Voldemort took a deep breath and tried to use his magic to search for the spy. There was nothing…again. This was driving him mad. He had been hearing this voice for a few days now. And it seemed that he was the only one that could hear it. Not that it meant he was crazy.

**-You keep telling yourself that-**

"Shut up," Voldemort growled.

**-Don't wanna!-**

Voldemort pressed his fingers against his eyes in frustration, then tried to get back to work. Hopefully if he ignored it, it would go away. After a while he began to relax. The voice seemed to have disappeared. Thank Merlin, the voice seemed especially chatty today and he didn't need that.

A cold blast of air on his neck made him shiver.

**-I'm still here-** the voice said right behind him.

Voldemort jumped up and pointed his wand behind him. Nothing was there. "Reveal yourself and I might be lenient with your punishment."

The voice was silent for a moment. **–You sure are stupid, aren't you Tom?-**

"How dare you!"

**-I just did. What are you going to do about it?-**

"Who are you?" Voldemort asked, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

**-Yooouuurrr coooonsccciouuuussss-** the voice laughed.

"I don't have a conscious."

**-Obviously-**

Voldemort growled in annoyance, "Answer me!"

**-Why don't you guess?-**

"Guess? That's ridiculous!"

**-I guess you'll never know then…-**

"Just be gone and leave me in peace."

**-What's the fun in that?-** Voldemort scowled and scratched his bald head. **–I'll let you ask questions-**

Voldemort thought for a moment. If he found out who it was then he would be able to punish the person responsible, severely. "Fine…"Male or female?"

**-Come on Tom! You can do better than that. Besides, can't you tell?-**

"How the hell should I know? I don't know what happens when you're a- whatever you are. So?"

**-Male last time I checked….yup, still male-**

"God, you're an annoying pest."

**-Takes one to know one. Next question-**

"Friend or Foe?"

**-Do you even have any friends?-**

"Foe then," Voldemort answered, ignoring the question and sitting back down.

**-Of course-**

"Ministry or the Order?"

**-Neither-**

Voldemort sat back and frowned, "You have to be one of them."

**-Nope. I was never inducted-**

"Bystander?"

**-Mmm. Nope-**

"Student?"

**-Yes-**

"So a Hogwarts student."

**-Yup-**

Voldemort grinned, "Must have been in a raid."

**-Bastard!-**

"Alright. Foe and you're a Hogwarts student."

**-Nope-**

"What? You just said you were a Hogwarts student."

**-Yes I did-**

"Then you're a student."

**-Nope-**

Voldemort growled in frustration, "You just said-"

**-I know what I said, I'm not stupid-**

"So you are-"

**-Nope-** Voldemort glared around the room, trying to find the voice. **–All about wording Tom-**

"Wording?"

**-Yup. Try again-**

"You are-"

**-Nope-**

Voldemort thought for a moment then said slowly, "You _were_ a student?"

**-Yup. Now ask the next question-**

Voldemort hesitated and felt his heartbeat speed up, "Are you dead?"

**-Ding, Ding, Ding! Correcto Mundo!-**

"Dead Hogwarts student," he questioned, proud that his voice didn't shake.

**-Yup!-** the voice sounded as if it was grinning.

"When did you die?"

**-Recently-**

"By my hand?"

**-Yes-** the tone of the voice was chilling. **–Now ask me my eye color? Go on-**

"Why?"

**-Just ask-**

"Fine. What color are they?" Voldemort felt a tingle of dread as the words left his mouth.

**-Green. Now ask me if I have a scar…-**

_Oh God no,_ he thought, _It can't…he's…_

**-Dead?-** the voice asked.

"You!" Voldemort snarled in anger as his heart beat faster.

A figure appeared in the chair in front of his desk. The figure of the recently dead Harry Potter.

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**So? What do you think? Leave a review to let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Driving You Insane**

**Chapter 2**

Voldemort whipped out his wand and sent out a killing curse at the figure.

Harry floated up out of the chair as it made impact and destroyed it. **–Aw. I liked that one-** he pouted. Voldemort continued to toss spells at the ghostly figure, fist in anger and then a slight fear. Some spells Harry dodged and others went right through him. After a minute Harry raised his hands up as Voldemort leveled his wand at him again and said, **-What are you trying to kill me for? I'm already dead-**

Voldemort thought about it, and then lowered his wand, "What are you doing here?" he snarled.

**-Haunting you of course-** Harry said lying down in the air at an angle, arms folded behind his head.

"Haunting me?" Voldemort asked blankly.

Harry sat up and zoomed across the small space until he was right in his face, ghostly hands planted on the desk and legs floating in the air. Voldemort stumbled back away from the transparent boy and Harry grinned. **–You didn't think you would be rid of me that easily did you? Really all you did was make it easier. Now-** Harry stepped back and spread his arms **–I have no boundaries-**

"I would think you would want to be with your parents," Voldemort said, trying to not let his dread show on his face.

**-Oh. They understand. They actually approve. They wanted to come, but they've already passed on so-** Harry shrugged **–They left it to me. That's why I wasn't here right away. I was talking to them, ya know, catching up. Then I had to get used to my new ghostiness-**

"So why don't you pass on?" Voldemort suggested lightly.

**-Nope. I'm here to make your life a living hell. I'm not going anywhere-**

Voldemort paled at the thought. _How do I get rid of him? _He thought.

**-You can't-** Harry answered.

Voldemort's head shot up, "How are you doing that?"

Harry tapped his forehead. **–The connection remember? It was blocked before, but now I have free reign-**

"I am not going to take this," Voldemort growled and pointed his wand at him "Evanescere Phantasma!"

Harry's eyes widened. **–No! No, you can't do that!-** he started clawing at the air in fear as something started to pull at him and he started to fade. **–Damn you! Damn you Voldemorrrtttttt!-** He vanished.

Voldemort lowered his wand and smiled with glee. He sat down in his chair and relaxed his shoulders, glad to be rid of the troublesome voice. He could finally get some work d-

**-Not!-** Harry popped right in front of his face. Voldemort jumped and jerked back in surprise. Harry laughed and flew backward across the room** –You should have seen your face!**- He said wiping a tear away.

_This cannot be happening!_

-**Oh. But it is-**

"Get out! Get out!" Voldemort thundered.

**-Temper, temper Tommy-boy-** Harry scolded.

"How? You should be gone!" Voldemort scowled and started trying different curses and spells to get rid of the apparation.

**-I would be. But I'm not your ordinary ghost. I'm a ghost with a grudge. And a big one-** Harry smirked and held up a finger, **-First you kill my mom and dad**- He ticked off another finger-**Then you had my godfather killed, then Dumbledore, Remus and Tonks…Yeah. I have a really good reason to be here-**

"No. I should be rid of you by now!" Voldemort snarled and flung another spell at him, but it just went right through. "I killed you!"

**-Stop that. It tickles-** Harry grinned **–You just have to accept the fact that I'm stuck here…until I decide to leave-**

"Then leave."

**-Nah. I don't feel like it-**

A knock at the door drew their attention, "My Lord?"

**-Ooooh. I visitor-** Harry exclaimed in excitement.

Voldemort gritted his teeth in annoyance, "Enter." He called out and seated himself at his chair.

The door opens and one of his followers, Evan Rosier, walks in. Rosier walks in, takes a quick look around at the destroyed office and kneels on the floor. "My Lord. I-I heard noises…I thought something was wrong."

**-There is. Your master is going crazy-** Harry said with a laugh.

Voldemort glared at Harry and pointed his wand at Rosier, "Crucio."

Rosier started twitching on the floor, but did not scream.

**-You're a little trigger happy with that spell you know that?-** Harry said.

Voldemort ignored him and released the spell. "I am fine, Rosier. If I wanted your opinion I would ask for it, understood."

"Y-Yes my lord. I'm sorry."

**-Weee! This is fun!-** Harry said zooming around the room like he was flying. **–I should have died sooner. You should try it-**

Voldemort ignored the ghost, "While you are here Rosier. What news do you bring from the Ministry?"

"The minister is scrambling to bring everything together now that Potter is dead."

Voldemort grinned and looked up at the ghost who was floating around behind Rosier, whistling. Harry flashed him a smile as he started floating upside down. He ignored him. "Potter was their hero, they thought he would defeat me but they were wrong."

**-But I'm still here!-** Harry sang. And promptly started rowing across the ceiling, **-Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream…-**

Voldemort gritted his teeth and plunged on "Now that he is gone and has failed they are trying to-"

**-Merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream**!- Harry sang and disappeared out the wall.

"-find a new way to defeat me. But they will fail and the Wizarding world will be mine."

"Of course my lord," Rosier said, noticing but ignoring his lord's distraction.

**-Got your nose!-** Harry suddenly cried from beside him, plunging his hand through Voldemort's head, **-Oh wait. You don't have one. Ha ha ha!-**

Voldemort tried no to shutter as Potter's hand went through him, it was cold, and ignored the comment. "Rosier, I want you to check on our forces in-" he paused to look down at his desk where Potter was sprawled out staring up at him, not blinking, just staring, blowing air into his face. As he looked down Potter grinned and stuck his tongue out at him and blew a raspberry.

"My lord?" Rosier asked uncertainly, not seeing what he was looking at.

Voldemort looked up again, "In Ireland. Make sure they are ready to move at anytime," he finished ignoring the faces that Potter was making at him.

"Yes, my lord. Will you be needing Swanson for this mission?"

**-Borrriinggg-** Harry yelled up at him making Voldemort jump slightly. **–All the forces in the words aren't going to let you win-**

Voldemort slammed his hands down on his desk, through Potter's chest.

Harry jumped up and glared at him.**-Hey! That wasn't very nice.-**

"M-My lord?" Rosier asked, "Is everything alright?"

Voldemort looked up, "Fine. Yes, make sure Swanson is available and at the front lines. I will call for all of you soon. You are dismissed."

Rosier rose, bowed and quickly left.

**-That's it? "Your dismissed" The man is putting his life on the line, the least you can say is thank you-** Harry said settling down on the corner of the desk.

"I do not need to thank my followers. I give orders and they obey."

**-Gee, no wonder you have so many defectors…-**

"What?" Voldemort snarled. Harry shrugged with a Cheshire grin. _Defectors? No, they wouldn't do that. If they did they know they would face my wrath!_

**-You know thinking like that is no good for your health-** Harry commented.

"Go away!" Voldemort shouted. The boy was really starting to get on his nerves. "I'm through with you. I don't need you bothering me."

Harry grinned widely **–Oh Tom. I'm just getting started-**

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**Yeah. So this is all I got for now. If any of you have any ideas that they would like to see Harry do to annoy Voldie please tell! Don't forget to review!**


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